I wish it was customary to post a sign in front of one’s home during the first year of your child’s life that reads: We have a baby! Kind of like those “baby on board” signs people put on their cars to forewarn others that they might drive really cautiously and slow, or very abruptly pull over to allow their child to pee or vomit on the side of the road, or become scary and enraged if you do something to endanger their passengers. Yes. Something like that. I’d really love to inform people to just avert their eyes when walking past my property…to let them know that I am busy trying to keep my child alive and unharmed instead of manicuring my lawn, cleaning out my garage, or removing this year’s Christmas tree from our shed. Baby on board, people. Keep walking.

Of course, I could use a sign like that inside my house as well…