The toddler shift

Lately, I’ve been feeling a great sense of relief. As if I can breathe after months (truthfully, a year) of overwhelming demands as a mother. You see, they say that every baby is different, and mine. Mine wasn’t the most easy-going baby (love you, girl!). She was happy….as long as there wasn’t too much noise or too much stimulation or she wasn’t riding in the car or sleeping alone (day or night) or no one was making silly faces at her when she was feeling serious or, most importantly, she was held instead of put down.

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As if all of that wasn’t….err…challenging….Emerson also did not want to be with anyone but me for much of her first year. She would literally cry if strangers so much as looked at her. She would not accept the arms of family, or friends, or doulas, or possible babysitters. And though she definitely loved and enjoyed her father, she was even skeptical of being left alone with him for more than a short while. Yes, I have been the bee’s knees. The soother. The feeder. The sleep-inducer. The safety. The bather. The everything.

Until it all changed.

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Somewhere in the midst of turning one and learning to walk and talk and spending an entire summer with her daddy home, a shift occurred. Emerson became a toddler. And quite noticeably and abruptly so. She was suddenly napping once a day, nursing less often, climbing everything, befriending every stranger she met, bonding with a babysitter, making astronomical messes at every turn, and spending more and more time out of my arms.

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As chaotic and exhausting as life with a toddler is, it is my favorite. Living with a child who is so interactive is incredible after waiting so long to get to know her for real. It’s exciting and comical and sweet as heck and I learn something new about myself, and life in general, every day just by being in the presence of my wonderful toddler. Not only that, but I am now able to be myself a little more. I can accomplish more, dream more, let go instead of cling more. Like I said, I feel like I can breathe again.

And so, I am dedicating this week to TODDLERS! Join me as I celebrate these magical and peculiar little beings!

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