Moments of frustration are part and parcel of parenthood. I think at one time or another, we’ve all found ourselves feeling like we can’t take any more. Those moments repeat themselves at random, over and over (I’m assuming for all of eternity once you become a parent). And it can be difficult to always (or, even most of the time) handle those moments with grace and a calm attitude. Maybe instead you snap at your child (or spouse), maybe you stomp the floor and scream, maybe you feel utterly overwhelmed and cry.

But, what if you were able to frame those “too much” moments in a brand new light? I often find that a change of perspective is just what I need to reclaim my serenity.

I used to picture Emerson as a newborn (or look at actual pictures) when I felt stressed by the challenges she brought to my life. While I struggle to react to stress in a calm, productive manner, visualization is a small thing I can do to turn it all around. You see, I find it impossible to feel anything but joy, kindness, and love when I remember that 8-pound angel. She was so small and vulnerable (just as her spirit and heart still are) that I couldn’t even imagine feeling frustrated (or worse). I had waited so long to meet her, had wanted her so desperately, and loved her so much, that I felt so grateful all the time. That constant sense of gratitude made it easy to push through the challenges and continue to give my everything to my newborn. The memory of that time can remind me to do the same now.

Yet, it’s not always easy.

As the level of “catastrophe” has ratcheted up in step with Emerson’s age, so have my efforts to remain grateful. I have realized that no matter how sleep deprived I am as I wait for my 15-month-old to finally start sleeping through the night, or frustrated at the sight of yet another mess, or rattled by the sound of whining, tantrum-ing, and whimpering while trying to cook dinner, it is this simple: she is here. She, my darling daughter, is here…with me. And that right there is everything. Really, it isn’t a “simple” thought at all, but a profound one.

There are so many tragedies befalling families these days. All it takes is a quick look at the news to feel blessed to have my child at home….healthy, happy, and alive. Or, a look at those even closer, like my husband’s 7-year-old cousin who is dying of cancer. That little boy’s parents are living in gratitude for every minute more they get to spend with him.

So, gratitude. It’s the antidote to the challenges of parenthood. Nothing will test you as greatly as a child, and nothing will make you feel so utterly blessed. For every sleepless night, pasta sauce stain on my white couch, or hour I’ve spent in a vehicle with a screaming child strapped in her car seat, there are sacred cuddles, shared triumphs, and love reciprocated that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. I have found much more joy than frustration, lately, by simply holding that thought in my mind like a meditation.

Be grateful.