I constantly find myself over-thinking toys. Am I giving my child too many or too few toys? Is she bored? When do I say no in the toy aisle at Target? You see, I want Emerson to be stimulated, but not too stimulated; entertained, but using her imagination instead of relying on flashing lights and electronic voices; excited, but enriched. Easy, right?

And so, I stocked the house (sparingly) with wooden toys, blocks and natural rubber play things when Emerson was a few months old. But, toys were, and still are, just a passing interest. They are outgrown, making them an expensive (non) investment. Likewise, some are just never a hit. And at the end of the day, Emerson is just as likely, if not more, to spend her time playing with regular old household items than toys.

So, why spend the money? Sure, we buy toys here and there (or inherit them), but these days I find myself on the lookout for cheap ways to entertain my toddler and her ever-changing interests. Here are ten of my favorite simple ways to banish boredom with a toddler (at least temporarily):

1. Cap and pom pom drop. I cut a slot into the lid of an empty cereal tub and then saved a bunch of water bottle tops. Emerson loves to put the caps (and pom poms) into the “bank” and hear the loud noise they make as they hit the bottom. Pour them out. Do it again. [Free or $4.99 for a 300-count Pom pom combo pack at Target]

2. Sensory table or bin. While an actual sensory table can be rather expensive, you can easily set up a sensory experience with an empty bin/tote or large bowl (which is what I did previous to inheriting ours). Fill with dried beans, water (which is fun outdoors in the summer and as an unexpected, albeit slightly messy, surprise in the winter), uncooked pasta, rice…the list goes on. Throw in toys, shovels, measuring cups, etc. [8 bags of beans, $1.20 a piece at Target]

3. Pipe cleaners and a strainer. To keep little ones busy while preparing a meal, hand them a strainer and a pile of pipe cleaners. Show them how to thread the pipe cleaners into the holes and then let them have at it. [Pipe cleaner and pom pom combo pack, $4.99 at Target]

4. Finger painting bags. Finger painting with a toddler is fun, but I find that a lot of the time it’s easier to say no to doing it because it requires changing clothes, setting up in a secured location, supervision, and inevitably a whole lot of cleanup. By squeezing the paint into gallon-sized baggies, which are then sealed off with packing tape (don’t forget this step!), you can let your child “paint” with minimal supervision and effort. Either tape the bag(s) to a window/door or hand them the bag at a table/highchair. [4-pack of finger paints, $6.98 at yoyo.com]

5. Stickers. Stickers are excellent distractions. Toddlers are still a bit too young to care too much what’s on the stickers, which is why I picked up a package of 330 stickers (meant for teachers, which actually have great pictures on them) and empty price tag labels for $1 at Target. So many stickers and so cheap. Emerson loves to stick them all over herself, on paper, her parents, her car seat, her toys…you name it. [330-pack of stickers, $1 at Target]

If you don’t have any stickers on hand, toddlers also love tape! Emerson loves some good packing tape.

6. Magnets. As with the stickers, what’s on the magnet isn’t really important. They are just fun to experiment with. I either hand them to Emerson with a clean cookie sheet, or let her explore the kitchen and find things that they will stick to. [4 packs of magnets, $1 at Target]

**Small magnets require supervision, because they can be very harmful to a child’s inside if swallowed!

7. Toddler crayons. Emerson is just starting to enjoy coloring. But, markers and regular crayons are hard to clean up (those marks end up everywhere!). Also, with regular crayons, Emerson tends to snap them in half and eat them rather than use them to color. Toddler crayons are easy for little hands to hold, can’t be broken or eaten and contain the mess. They are also washable. [2-pack, $5.99 at Target]

8. Baby bath. (Or animal, car, toy, etc wash). Toddlers have spent much of their lives being cleaned up so why not let them give it a try? Emerson will sit quietly and give her baby doll a “bath” for quite a while. I hand her some wet wipes or a wash cloth, a soft hair brush, and a towel and she is content. [Free]

9. Clean house. Toddlers have also spent a lot of time watching grownups clean up after them. Emerson has always loved to help me with this. She will “dust” with a duster for hours if I let her, she loves to spray things (with water!) and wipe them up with a rag, she will clean the floors with a Swiffer (I take out two pieces to make it her height) or help “wash” dishes. Kids love to mimic. [Free]

Yes, she is dusting with my underwear (clean!) on her head and my sports bra on her chest.

10. Watch the ____. There are so many things that toddlers love to watch. Emerson enjoys watching cars and trucks drive by while shouting “hi!” and “beep!” at them. Others things she loves to watch: ducks, any body of water, dogs playing, people mowing the lawn, and construction work. [Free]

There you have it. Some really simple, inexpensive ways to entertain your little human! Have fun!

Lately, I’ve been feeling a great sense of relief. As if I can breathe after months (truthfully, a year) of overwhelming demands as a mother. You see, they say that every baby is different, and mine. Mine wasn’t the most easy-going baby (love you, girl!). She was happy….as long as there wasn’t too much noise or too much stimulation or she wasn’t riding in the car or sleeping alone (day or night) or no one was making silly faces at her when she was feeling serious or, most importantly, she was held instead of put down.

As if all of that wasn’t….err…challenging….Emerson also did not want to be with anyone but me for much of her first year. She would literally cry if strangers so much as looked at her. She would not accept the arms of family, or friends, or doulas, or possible babysitters. And though she definitely loved and enjoyed her father, she was even skeptical of being left alone with him for more than a short while. Yes, I have been the bee’s knees. The soother. The feeder. The sleep-inducer. The safety. The bather. The everything.

Until it all changed.

Somewhere in the midst of turning one and learning to walk and talk and spending an entire summer with her daddy home, a shift occurred. Emerson became a toddler. And quite noticeably and abruptly so. She was suddenly napping once a day, nursing less often, climbing everything, befriending every stranger she met, bonding with a babysitter, making astronomical messes at every turn, and spending more and more time out of my arms.

As chaotic and exhausting as life with a toddler is, it is my favorite. Living with a child who is so interactive is incredible after waiting so long to get to know her for real. It’s exciting and comical and sweet as heck and I learn something new about myself, and life in general, every day just by being in the presence of my wonderful toddler. Not only that, but I am now able to be myself a little more. I can accomplish more, dream more, let go instead of cling more. Like I said, I feel like I can breathe again.

And so, I am dedicating this week to TODDLERS! Join me as I celebrate these magical and peculiar little beings!

I actually teared up (and cried a little) yesterday while watching Emerson change her baby’s diaper. The love and nurturing she has to give is so incredibly beautiful. I mean, she is already mothering babies and stuffed animals? I die. It’s a bit of heart-warming proof that I’ve done something right with her…

Wash baby head-to-toe…

A pat on the back….

And a kiss on the cheek…

All better baby!

 

As we step out of the car, Emerson immediately starts calling out “beep! beep!” “No, Emerson, they don’t have a car cart at this store,” I say as I secretly curse Whole Foods, Hadley for not thinking of their younger clientele. Emerson continues to shout “beep!” at every person we pass, as if they will magically solve her problem. This goes on for a bit until I finally get my child to sit, albeit reluctantly, in a Plain Jane shopping cart.

We hit the produce section, and Emerson starts yelling out “apple!” I give Alex a look of “come on!” and he understands that he must hurriedly round up a week’s worth of fruits and veggies before Emerson causes a scene. I think about the game show Supermarket Sweep (remember that show?!), as I watch him bob and weave through potato stands and berry displays. Back at our cart, I don’t dare hand Emerson the bag of apples knowing she will, of course, take a bite out of every single one. As Alex buzzes by us, he hands Emerson a yellow bell pepper in an attempt to distract her, to which she retorts “apple!!” and immediately begins to destroy in protest.

As we leave the produce section, I hand Emerson a sealed tub of pumpkin seeds to shake around. Harmless, I think. But, Emerson is pissed that she cannot break the seal and begins to let out what we call her “angry motor boat” noise, as onlookers shoot us judgmental stares.

I decide to leave Emerson with Alex for a few minutes so I can try to find some medicine to treat the cough and cold that has been plaguing me for over a week (thanks to nights spent soothing a toddler who is currently sprouting FOUR teeth at once). I’m distracted while searching through bottles of alcohol-free, dye-free homeopathic remedies, because I can hear Emerson loudly whining and whimpering two aisles away. I grab the first thing I see with the word “cough” on it that is under $10.

When I catch up to the rest of my family, I hand Emerson a tub of hummus to play with. She is happy for a few minutes. Halfway down the pasta aisle, though, she tosses it onto the floor. Shards of plastic and puréed chickpeas splatter across the linoleum floor as I try to decide whether to leave the scene before I’m noticed, or alert an employee. I pick up what’s left of the tub and hand it to a girl stocking shelves in the next aisle and apologize as I hurry past her.

Emerson is done whining. Now she is screaming random words at the top of her lungs. I tell her to “hang in there” and she throws her head back, starts to cry and spits all over herself. After a couple aisles of this, and several dismayed passersby later, I decide to let Emerson loose so she can work off some of her energy.

Emerson hits the ground running and squealing with delight, as she heads straight for the registers, where she knows she will find a display of enticing travel-sized goodies….all in buckets low enough for her to grab (why people?!). She selects her usual favorites: a rock crystal deodorant spray and a shea butter lip balm. Before I can catch her, she bolts for the small toy section a few aisles away. I find her there, taking a bite out of the lip balm, which I immediately grab and hide on a shelf…because I am not purchasing another lip balm. Emerson doesn’t notice that I’ve taken her “toy” away, because she is distracted by a large elephant puppet. She begins to make a very loud “elephant noise” while simultaneously running into a man pushing a shopping cart. Unfazed, she picks up a watering can, and again makes the elephant noise. Makes sense, that long spout could be a trunk, I think.

Emerson grabs a chocolate coconut health bar, from god knows where, and takes off again. Three separate times, strangers comment on how fast she can run. As Emerson makes her way up and down the aisles, she obsessively stops every five feet to take the cap off her rock crystal deodorant, which she believes is lip balm, and wipes it all over her mouth. She then finds a beaded hippie bracelet on display and swipes it while still running. She stops in the frozen food aisle to put said bracelet on and begins showing it off to strangers—heyyyy, look at my bracelet, people—some of whom are amused by her cuteness, some of whom are clearly wondering why I would let my toddler roam so freely about the store.

I begin to herd Emerson toward the body care section so I can return her collection of trinkets. We stop by the “cut your own soap” table and Emerson points to various bars. She would like to smell them. Obvs. I put several bars under her nose as she smiles and says “mmmm!” She particularly enjoys the patchouli bar so I let her hold it….she sinks her teeth into it.

It’s time to go.

I tell Emerson to say “bye bye” to the soap and the elephant and the bracelet and the strangers. But, she will not part with the rock crystal deodorant. I try to pry it from her grip and she screams. I spot Alex at the checkout counter and ask him to toss me something from one of our bags. He lobs a Steripod toothbrush cover at me and in one swift move I replace the deodorant in Emerson’s hand with it. Phew. No tears.

We say goodbye to the lady working the register a good seven times, while the people in back of us in line look visibly impatient and annoyed.

Finally, we make our way out the door.

This is our life.

I just wanted to apologize for the lack of posting this week! I’ve been experiencing some technical issues with my blog, but should be up and running again by Monday. Hope to see you then!

Little Miss Emerson was a great sport at the photo shoot yesterday, but also thoroughly confused about the camera being pointed at someone other than herself (after enduring almost 15 months of constant documentation)…

So, eventually she switched clothes with the “model” and joined the fun….

I grew up in a big beach family. We all loved the beach and summers pretty much revolved around them. In fact, the love was so grand that I never felt at home in landlocked locations and moved myself straight to California as soon as I could afford it as a young adult.

Now, after a lifetime of beaching it, I have a collection of tips and tricks for myself, but what about with kids? Let me tell you, going to the beach with a toddler is a much different experience than lazily reading magazines in the sun. Which is why I’ve been on the lookout for good tips lately. Here’s my short list (sure to grow over the years!):

1. Use baby powder to clean up your kids. It works like magic, I swear! Simply rub the powder all over your little one(s) and the sand will slide right off! This even works on a wet, sandy kid! Plus, they end up smelling clean (even if they aren’t). I prefer Burt’s Bees, because it is talc-free, all natural and has a delicious scent. P.S. Try it on yourself, too!

2. Use a snow sled to transport kids and gear. That’s right. A sled. Either clean kids up with baby powder or dip them in the water, then put them directly on the sled. Pack up the gear along with the kids and pull the whole lot across the sand. Easy transporting and everyone stays clean!

3. Put sunscreen on the kids before you leave the house. Not only is it incredibly difficult to lotion up a kid who is really excited to be at the beach, there is the added challenge of trying to do so when they are already covered in sand (which happens immediately upon walking onto the beach).

4. Use a tote with holes in the bottom or mesh bags. Or else you’ll bring home half the beach. I’ve seen canvas bags that have holes on the bottom (need one!). Simple shake the bag and leave the sand behind. Mesh bags would work, too.

5. Buy a Lifeproof case for your phone. Because, who doesn’t want to take pictures of their kids at the beach? And who doesn’t want to ruin their smartphone (or actual camera)? Sand can destroy such devices in an instant (not to mention the water).

What about you? And great tips for beaching it with the kids?

I used to wear toe rings and green eye shadow, snakeskin print mini skirts and no bra. I used to kiss boys I hardly knew and make friends in bars. I was obsessed with having a tan, devoured girly magazines weekly, and spent a small fortune on beauty products. There were late night pizzas and waffles with bananas while coming down from intoxication, guitar sessions and painting for hours in my underwear. I took risks then, big ones. Because, I could. Because, there was always the option of taking a new risk if this one didn’t pan out.

Time felt unending. Dreams felt entirely possible. Romance was alive. Adventure called.

I was free.

And, I didn’t feel all that different with each passing birthday. I was always young, and there was always time.

I never knew exactly where I was headed, but that was okay. That was what made life so fun. Now, that is what makes life so stressful. There is still so much to do, so much to plan for, so many dreams unrealized….yet there doesn’t seem to be enough time. All those “somedays” that I put off have becomes NOWS. What about that career, those children, that house in the suburbs….those problems I thought would be more than solved at this point?

***

I feel distinctly older this year, and that is, perhaps, because becoming a mother ages you overnight. Regardless, I suddenly find myself remembering that girl who listened to music on a discman all over the Spanish countryside, the girl who was up for a party even on a school night, the girl who was thrilled by a new tapestry, buddha statue or $3 flip flops in bold colors. Because, that girl was so fearless, vivacious, and took risks like they were risk-free.

The thing is, it’s not that I want to go back in time (no, thank you!) or that I like that girl more than the woman I am today (also, no). But, as I stand here, a thirty-three year old mother of one, actively pursuing my dreams and trying to make solid life decisions, I admire my younger self. Of course, I’d need to sift out her reckless tendencies, but, looking back, I still feel awed by her audacity, and ability to make enormous changes in her life so easily.

I find myself suddenly trying to reconcile that girl with this woman. I’m hoping there is some magical combination of stellar decision-making, confidence, fearlessness, and wisdom awaiting me this year…