My muse

I’ve mentioned that one of the reasons I’ve been struggling to post lately is insecurity. Throughout my pregnancy and just after the birth, I felt good about this blog. I felt very inspired and was receiving a steady stream of positive feedback from readers, and felt like I was creating something. I’ve never been entirely sure what specifically I’m creating here, but it’s always felt like part of my path so I continue to write. 

However, as the high of giving birth and having a new baby wore off, so did any sense of confidence in my writing. The truth is my confidence in a lot of things has been shaky for months. I’ve been hit by the much-expected-hoped-I’d-avoid-it identity crisis that so many mothers experience. Many days I find myself questioning my goals, my daily life, my outward appearance….basically, my entire existence. Nothing is spared. I have toyed with the idea of erasing my blog altogether on several occasions. But, I can’t. At least not today. For today, I am writing this confession instead of erasing years worth of writing. I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings….